Interfaith And Interracial Dating

QUESTION

I am a widow who lives in a very white, middle class neighborhood. I have met a man who is a different race and faith. I do want to date him but I am worried about what my neighbors will think. Should I just tell him that it is not a good idea?

ANSWER

VICKI:
The fact that you want to date this man tells me that you see him as a man who is worth spending time with and getting to know better. Is it really worth it to you to say no to him because of what others may think? More importantly will you let others decide upon what should or shouldn’t make you happy? Especially if their ideas are bigoted and small-minded.

Your happiness is ultimately based on yourself. What a gift you would be giving to your neighbors and yourself showing them the confident and open-minded woman that you truly are. If dating this man feels right for you then please go for it. Be true to yourself.

JILL:
I can add nothing to Vicki’s advice regarding your situation with this gentleman; what she said is sound and authentic. What I would like you to consider is actually around your lifestyle. I am going to assume that you moved into the neighborhood with your husband and probably had a very enjoyable life there together. When you become a widow or single again sometimes you need to evaluate your lifestyle and see if it is still the right one for you at the present time.

With this assessment you may, for instance, find that a condo in a new neighborhood is a better reflection of your new life.

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