Gossip After Office Romance Gone Wrong

QUESTION

I work in a law office and made the mistake of sleeping with one of the junior partners. I quickly broke it off when one of the secretaries told me that I wasn’t his first office fling. Problem is one of the female junior partners is telling everyone that I slept with this guy and is giving the impression that we are still together. What should I do, I am only a paralegal, which kinda makes her my boss? Do I wait for it to blow over or do I confront her?

ANSWER

JILL:
You should talk to her but there is a right way of going about this. The office may not give you the privacy that you need. Invite (don’t confront) her for coffee, if she is reluctant ask her to meet at the office in a room where you can close the door.

Frame your words carefully and be clear in your mind as to the outcome that you desire from this meeting.
Make the words your own, but there are some guidelines

“I have made a mistake, but it is over. (Insert her name here) it has come to my attention that you have been talking about my actions. I would appreciate it if you would stop.”
Don’t be defensive or explain yourself.
Use her name it puts you on an equal footing
Don’t accuse her of gossiping it will make her defensive and you will find it hard to reach a conclusion from that view point
Bring it to a polite end. This is not high school you are both professional women, who want to get ahead and be respected.

If she argues or blusters, say again ‘It’s over what you are saying to people is untrue.” If you are concerned that she will continue to gossip tell her that you will go to the Human Resources Department. You will have the upper hand in that you have tried to quietly deal with the situation yourself.

VICKI:
Yes you should talk to this woman which is much different than confronting someone, especially in an office situation.

You must always be careful whom you tell personal things at work as office gossip abounds. From the secretary to the female junior partner – how many people did you talk to this about? If only one then you need to talk to that original one person as that is how it all got started. Or possibly the junior partner you slept with started the talking in that case talk to him about his indiscretion.

One more thing, you are not “only a paralegal”, you are a vital part of that office and should be treated with respect at all times. If you were not vital your position in the office would not exist. Every position in every company is needed. How long would your office be able to operate if no one cleaned it? Not long I promise. Everyone contributes and deserves to be respected.

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One Response

  1. lol some of the feedback bloggers post make me laugh, time after time i contemplate whether they realistically read the articles and reports before placing a comment or whether they just simply read over the post title and compose only the first thought that comes to mind. anyhow, it is really enjoyable to read through smart commentary now and then in contrast to the identical, old post vomit that i usually observe on the internet i’m off to play a couple of hands of facebook poker hasta la vista

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