Forgiving A Cheating Husband

QUESTION

How do I forgive a cheating husband?

ANSWER

VICKI:
Thank you so much for asking this very important question that I know will touch many people’s lives when it comes to forgiving anyone about anything. Forgiveness is the only way for anyone to truly move on with their life after any hurtful situation. I also want to mention that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean keeping the person that hurt you in your life; even if you leave someone it is necessary to forgive in order to remove the heaviness from one’s heart. So much for forgiveness in general, let me speak to your situation.

Forgiveness is not an easy road and it requires a lot of self-examination. This is because the hurt, resentment, and all other ill feelings are inside of yourself, therefore, looking at anything outside of yourself won’t help.

Since I can’t know exactly all the emotions that you are feeling I will have to use examples with some of the most common emotions and thoughts that clients in your situation have expressed to me.

This first thing is about forgiving yourself. Which is due to most women feeling that they are to blame for their husband cheating. Something almost each client has expressed is feeling inadequate and wondering what they did wrong or what was wrong with them. This feeling of inadequacy usually stems from our insecurities about ourselves. A woman will look at what she is uncomfortable with such as her body, age, personality, etc. and believe that one or all of what she is insecure about was the reason her husband strayed.

To move past this particular feeling a woman must come to understand that her husband didn’t cheat because of her. No one does anything because of anyone else. Whether he didn’t have the self-control to resist or he is acting out because of his own insecurities about aging, his manhood, inability to ask his wife for what her really wants, etc., it is never about his wife. With that point of understanding a woman must still forgive herself for any flaws she feels she has. She must recognize that it is not her duty to be perfect in any way shape or form and that no human being is – This is the first piece of forgiveness.

From here you must examine your emotions one by one and question them in order to discover what they are about for you. The best thing I can recommend is what I call the “Because Question”. Use the following statement: I am feeling _________ about/that _____________ because ______________. The “because statement” will always be about yourself. I will give you an example below.

Another frequent emotion in your situation is grief, which is always about the loss of something. In this case the Because Question may look like this: I am feeling a sense of loss that my husband wasn’t faithful because I have lost the dream that I am the only one he could ever have feelings for.

As you explore your emotions and realize that they are all about your beliefs about yourself and life it slowly lessens all the negative feelings you are now holding inside and you start eliminating the blame. This is how it becomes easier to forgive. When there is no longer any blame and you have no ill feelings, forgiveness is possible.

Again, this is not an easy process and it takes time – it does not happen overnight. Even though you work through an emotion once does not mean it is finished with – the same emotion will tend to come back with a different “because” answer. What this means is that the emotions you are feeling will repeat themselves. This process is best done within counseling. I wish you all the best with this long and very worthy process.

JILL:
Vicki’s answer is thorough and complete. I am therefore just going to take a more general viewpoint on forgiveness.

1. The process of forgiveness can only be started after you have worked through your own feelings. In this case those feelings are probably anger and grief.
2. If you have decided to stay within the relationship, the act of forgiveness does suggest approval.
3. To forgive is to give yourself freedom. When we dwell on our pain we risk damaging or physical health, our mental well-being, and we risk it eating away at us spiritually.
4. It is important that once you have started to forgive that you do not use your husband’s cheating as a weapon. You cannot keep throwing this act back at him. If you do this then it is a sigh that you have not forgiven him.
5. The act of forgiveness is a gesture towards the healing of yourself and will allow your relationship to start growing again.

I echo Vicki’s wishes for your success at this difficult time.

Read 10 things that you never knew (and possibly never wanted to know) about Vicki and Jill.

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70 Responses

  1. JILL, you said, “2. If you have decided to stay within the relationship, the act of forgiveness does suggest approval.”

    Agreed. So why doesn’t forgiving invite more cheating in the future?

  2. Good question. My answer was to the wife and addressed just the forgiveness. There are many other perspectives that have to be worked on for this couple. It is the partner that has to do the work needed to not cheat again.
    Then they have to come together to discuss the future of their relationship, to see if they can lay the groundwork for a strong and faithful marriage.

    • That is wrong…when the savior forgave he did it out of love. He never approved of the sin…he said “Sin no More”. Forgiveness will create a greater bond and love between a forgiver and forgivee.

  3. Being cheated on and lied too are horrible feelings. It made me feel less of a woman and made me try to replay and question some many things in my mind. I am still going through and it feels like I am going crazy. My heart goes out to all who have been cheated on, the road to recovery is a difficult one to travel.

  4. Carla,my heart goes out to you. I am another victim. The man I vow to on Feb. 28, 1998 cheated on me. I know just how you feel. I cry at least 4-5 times a week and want to seek revenge after him and the other woman. Should I feel this way towards the other woman? She was my husband ex-secretary, and I knew her, her husband from whom she is separarated from call me on my home phone. everything came out in the open on May 24, 2008 when he called. Of course he tried to deny everything, but it had to come out. I don’t have to tell you the devastation I am going through. We are trying to work this out, but it is hard. The thing is, I knew it, at least I felt he was cheating on me but I could not accept it. Prayer has been the only key to my life now.

    • Hello Carla,
      I know how it feels, I just found out about my husband, he denied everything, but it came out from the girl’s ex..
      Did you work it out? Are you still together?
      I love my husband and want to forgive him, but I don’t know if I ever can trust him again…

  5. my husband has been continuing phone conversations with his ex-grilfriend as well as an old friend whom he had sexual relations with. i found out through his phone statement and he tried to deny it at first, then admit to it and claimed he’d stop, well this was last year and he hasn’t stopped. i forgave him last year, while I was carrying our child, now I found out he’s still calling these women and he tells me that they’re only discussing there problems. i asked him if he’d lost his mind or did he think I had. I love him, but this has really put a toll on our marriage. I feel as though I will never be able to trust him, because as soon as I start trusting him, I find out something else. he says we can make it work and that he really wants us to be together, but why the other women. someone please answer my question. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE ME???

    • LEAVE!!!!

    • I don’t know, I’m in the same situation. I’m currently pregnant, he cheated and lied and I feel certain it’ll happen again within the year. Most people have told me to leave him. Others have suggested we try and do what Jill says above: “It is the partner that has to do the work needed to not cheat again.
      Then they have to come together to discuss the future of their relationship, to see if they can lay the groundwork for a strong and faithful marriage.” I’d appreciate some advice too.

    • Hi i understand u,my sincere request would be just forgive him because u love him.include him in your prayers and lead a peaceful life.do not get into this relationship, the more u think of his behaviour u will be agitated and finally land up with health issues which is even more worse.this would be an never ending story.its quite difficult to lead a lonely life ,but in a way u are in peace .

  6. I am from the other side of the fence. I was the one that cheated. My husband found out about the affair after it had ended and forgave me, but I continued a friendship with the man I’d been involved with. I honestly felt that my friendship was harming nobody as it wasn’t sexual. When my husband found out, he was (rightly!) angry and my marriage is now over. I regret it all so much. It was all for the sake of trying to just please everyone and not make anyone unhappy that I ended up wrecking my marriage.

    It wasn’t worth it – trust me. If you think your marriage is worth working on … then do it. Tell him it HAS to stop and make him agree to whatever you need from him … and get some counselling. Good luck

  7. Thanks all of you for your honesty. My husband never got a chance to actually go thru with his plans, but I still feel horrible about it. I feel that the only reason he is still faithful is because of the other husband. He got there just as they were on their way to the room. I got my husbands faithfulness by default! I believe he loves me &regrets what has happened, but I still think about leaving. I just don’t know if I can trust him again. It was a one time event (I believe) and he is so remorseful…should I stay? I dont know…

  8. Hi All,
    It’s sad . I feel so much for all those wives who have trusted and probably done everythign to please the husband- like I did. But only to be cheated and satmped not once , twice and thrice – everytime i forgave thinking it was a small offence after some years, the offence was bigger. first it is open preference to someone, second it is expensive gifts as gold, and going into their rooms when the girl stayed with us, and finally putting up a story that he is depressed and so he wants to separate, all only to hide his aaffair and he now lives separately on grounds of wnating to separate. His plans all fell to the ground since his office, friends and his family all did not support him and he being in a respectable position was humilaitaed since he romanced hos wo secretary half his age , when our daughter is just 5 years younger than his secretary.
    I am crying everyday since 10 months now begging and pleading for him to be back. he has started coming once a way to see my kids which he threatened he wont and blackmaild all of us for a mutual consent. How do I move on. I am just unable to and also just leave all to God tho I am praying. Please help me. Need some solid advise and support. My angel of daughters are wiith me always ..but I know they miss their dad too.

  9. My husband for 34 years who I trusted completed had very close friendship with two female co-workers; he play tennis with one for over 3 years once a week and he will be on the phone with the other one three to four times weekly over 2 years. I also found out he went out dinner with his “tennis partner” often. He also goes to the “phone friend” when she needs his help for fixing leaking faucet or moving furnitures. I accidentally found out about the first one and he agreed to stop playing tennis with her. Yet, he continues talking with the second woman. He claims that they are only female friends; nothing more than friendship. He didn’t think he did anything wrong and reluctant agreed to stop seeing the second woman. His didn’t think it is cheating as long as he didn’t have sexual relationship.

    I see images of how he much fun he has playing tennis and how happy he was talking on the phone. I wake up in the middle of the night by all the images that he was with other woman.

    I tried once to kill myself unseccessfully and got locked up in the psyc ward for a while. I am in so much pain. I think about to kill myself again. I just can’t figure out a way to forgive him.

    Hopeless in Connecticut

  10. Hey Emily,
    Dont harm urself over someone else insecurities my husband cheated and he made me feel like i was crazy , yes i felt there is no way out. after a week of suffering, drinking no sleep i woke up.
    I thought i have a life i cant keep chasing him, look good at all times , go out with the girls lose wieght be irresitable he should think where u r and what u r upto.

    • I thought about doing this, but I’m happy the way I am. I enjoy spending time with my kids, I’m not in the mood for games,I just want things to be the way they were. we were friends, lovers and everyrhing else in between.I am so dissappointed and hurt.

  11. I don’t even believe in second chances. You will never forget! If you stay, you will always be reminded by what he did. When a song comes on about cheating, when a movie comes on about cheating, when radio DJ’s talk about cheating, when Cheaters the show comes on TV. It will constantly be thrown in your face about how stupid you were for taking him back, not including your friends and family who will snidely condescend you & treat you like a desperate pathetic dumb ass. You can forgive the guy without having to take him back. Think about this, by taking him back, what is that teaching your kids? What is that teaching every man out there? That it’s okay to cheat on women. No excuses! Don’t do it.

    • I wish I had listened to my friend and family, when I found out that my husband cheated, cause he did it again, and for all I know he did it the entire time we were together. People should trust their insticts, if you feel something is happening it probably is.

    • Hi lasona perfect reply.this is what i would like to tell her. I liked your comment.

    • Just reading the emails about cheating men and your email is dead-on! Good for you….Ladies look your best, be your best and forget his BS actions. The men are the insecure dumb-ass’s!

  12. :::::YOU CAN FORgiVE HIM :::::::

    —-THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE WITH HIM—-

    I still talk to my ex of 5 years ago who cheated on me, have I forgiven him? Yes! Would I ever get back together with him? Not even if he was the last guy on earth. Don’t let your twisted definition of “forgiving” be an excuse for taking him back. Forgive him…yes. Take him back…NO!

  13. My wife had an affair (mostly an emotional affair and some kissing, but no sex) and I feel that we are dealing with it well except for one thing. The man she had an affair with is one of her only friends and they have swapped childcare together (we both have 3 year olds). They did a lot of childcare together and have swapped kids to give the other a break. I truly believe my wife is over him ad would not do anything again (we’ve had a lot of stress in our lives leading to the affair), but she wants to remain friends with him; he’s her only childcare support; and while she understands that I don’t want my kids near him, and while she accepts that, I know she wants me to move past it.

    • Your wife can find somebody else for childcare I mean really, Kissing can lead to sex. I am just saying please don’t be a fool because that happen to me with my son father kissing somebody and then sex came after.

  14. To follow up my last post–forgot to say that I could use some advice on figuring out what to do and how to handle the situation. I’d love for them to never see each other–it certainly would be easier on me, but it would really hurt my wife. We’ve never made unilateral decisions before (well, except for the affair) and eliminating him would isolate her tremendously. But to have him around my kids feels wrong.

  15. Hi Jay,

    I get that you’re really looking for a way to handle the situation in a way that is mutually beneficial to you and your wife. That makes you a great husband and an understanding and compassionate man.

    I come from a spiritual perspective on life and I believe that when we make a decision that is true to ourselves (a decision that feels true to our very core and that is made when we are coming from a loving place as opposed to being fearful of anything, including unknowns, and making the choice totally around our personal feelings and not another’s) then we are being true to all involved.

    Sit down and write a list of possible answers to the situation. Then one at a time, close your eyes and visualize the situation. Your visualization must include everyone involved – just play out the whole scenario without putting in horrible possibilities (don’t let your imagination get the best of you), this needs to be based in reality of WHAT IS.

    Now which one of the situations feels totally right for you. The situation that feels good to you in your heart and soul and brings you peace of mind is what true for you. Tell your wife your truth and then look for ways to work it out with you being true to yourself. Sometimes there is a mutually beneficial solution and sometimes not. However a person can only truly live with that which they are at peace with.

    You’re a good man and I wish you the best possible outcome and much happiness.

    Vicki Wolfson of Too Real Advice

  16. =”tahoma”]I’m married for almost 4 yrs now and with 1 child.I found out recently that my husband cheated on me 2 years ago before he got me pregnant because I found out that he got me infected. I ask him how did it happened and he confess everything.I was away for a 3 yrs since I’m working oversea and we only see each other 2 to 3 tyms in a year. He said things happened only for fun coz he did it only 4 times in 4 months and b4 he got me pregnant he already regret what he did .I was so shocked whe I heard those words. I really cant believe that he cheated on me.I got nothing to do unless cried and cried trying to figure out why things happened. He ask forgiveness to me and to my family he even cried begging for forgiveness to them that he really regret a lot and promise not to do it again for he cannot afford to lose us. Does he deserve a second chance? Does he really regret what he does? I want to have a peace of mind…. Help!!!

  17. I just found out that my husband cheated while working out of town. While I was 8 months pregnant.
    I found out the other woman got pregnant (had miscarriage). I honestly don’t know If I can forgive him for it. I am trying to move past it but it hurts. MY heart hurts. We have now two children together and I want to stay together for the children and hopefully fix our marriage. But it will definately come with some very strict ground rules. The other woman apologizes for it (he told her he was going through a divorce) but I cant blame her for what My husband told her. She thought he was the man of her dreams. Cant fault her for that.
    Hopefully we can try to move passed this and it will never happen again

    • when my baby was 3 months old i learned that my husband had father a child outside of marriage with a co worker of his. he said it was only a two week affair i had a feeling when i was pregnant that something was going on but being blind i said he wasnt capable of it. my heart was shattered into millions of piece and i did not speak too him for days. it was the hardest decision form me in my life to decide to stay with him, i asked him several times why he did it and he replied with i dont know but i regret it so much and im sorry is not enough to make it go away. Our baby is now 10 months old and we are still together i am dealing with trust issue as any wife would after such a thing occurs in the marriage. when ever i get like that i merely express it and tell him not in a confronting manner obviously, but we are getting better and the grief is dimishing, and i hope to god that we make get stronger. i dont know if its true but they say that 50 percent of men cheat only once in there life and i hope its true in my case because its hard to get over these as it is. when you see the women at work constantly. the child is in our life he is not to blame but it is difficult sometimes for me to not see him as a result of an infedelity. that is why ive given myself time to heal and make it work it out before i make hard decision that will affect my child in a negative manner.i know it sounds like ive made my decision of separating but all women go through this i assume but if i survive this i will become stronger as a person and so will my marriage. i am optimistic i will contunie to be married but the day comes where it does end at least i could say that i gave it a chance for us to be the way we use to be before it all occured. and i know that in time i will learn to love that child as love my baby.

  18. Men are are simple egoic creatures. Many men can justify a sexual relationship with a woman they really don’t have deep feelings for. Most of this is a combination and struggle with, self esteem, self value, chemistry (testosterone), and the male logic system. We do dumb things because of our ego and chemistry. Many men cheat because they are looking for something which they (THINK) is missing, many times it is a communication and understanding issue, from the masculine to the feminine and also the opposite.
    Although we (men) have a higher intelligence than most of the other species of our gender on earth, there is a different basic logic that drives us. And the key word is logic.

    It is extremely difficult to forgive a cheating spouse, I think it is important to identify the root cause of the reason for cheating. It will require some effort to get a man to admit why, but with patience and subtle diligence the problem can be identified, and forgiveness may be easier.

  19. Dear Emmitt,

    My husband had an affair after 24 years of marriage. He claimed I wasn’t fulfilling his basic need of making him feel worthwhile, while this woman was telling him all the right things building him up. The affair lasted for about 6 months, during which time he repeatably told me he was done with her for me to find out otherwise. He always claimed it never turned sexual, until I caught him coming out of her bedroom. This was on a Monday and the previous weekend we had a great time away and had the best sex of our married life. We were scheduled for another marriage counseling session on Wednesday. After I found him out he said the relief was enormous. And wanted me to forgive him. After much crying and lamenting I said our 24 years of marriage was worth a try. We continue to seek counseling. My question is this. My husband said he only had sex about 10 times in all and it was only to keep her happy, that it was never fulfilling for him and was actually hard to accomplish at times (pardon the pun). Can this be true? I need a man’s perspective. He continued to have sex with me during the entire 6 month period and it was always fulfilling. It has been 2 months since I discovered the truth and things seem better, but I live with the fear that the lying and cheating will begin again. He is very good about accounting for his whereabouts, however he has a job that allows him a lot of freedom. We do work together so he must eventually account for his time. I monitor his cell calls (which he knows about). When can I let my guard down and go back to a normal stress free life?

  20. It always seems like for people who have not dealt with infidelity for them to say to leave. Leaving is never easy when there are feeling involved, when there are children involved. My Husband did cheat on me while I was pregnant and he was working out of town, he is remorseful and has changed his behavior to help me to trust him. Will I ever trust him completely? Probably not, there will always be a question in the back of my mind could he do it again? But he does know that should he choose to do it again he has a one way ticket out the door. Cause I deserve better than that, so do his children.

  21. i am married and currently going through a divorce.. i married my wife and then things started to fall apart.. then recently she was have dreams about her ex husband.. the first guy she was with then married then had a kid and within 6 months of the kid being born he cheater on her then she left him.. we got together 2 years after this.. now she told me that she has the what if i stayed and i always wanted to have her daughter be with her real dad.. who was never there… so now she screwed me over and left me treated me like i beat her for years.. which i never ever would lay a hand on woman.. lied to get a restraining order on me… and is now trying to go back to him and work it out… seriously… i hurt bad.. my thoughts on marriage were not of this nature.. she said all sorts of crap to me.. and what should i make of this .. is she dumb for wanting him back and still being stuck on her first…?? she is flying out of state to go see… since he wouldnt come see her … please imput would be great… do you think she is making a big mistake by not putting her all into me and living in the past… i took on her and her daughter as my own and then she is treating my like we were never together… help please….

    • Dear David,
      I believe you must let her seek out her past. If not it will always be a what if for her. My heart breaks for you. It’s not easy when the good person does all the right things and bad things still happen to us. The old saying, if you love something set it free if it returns it is yours if it doesn’t it wasn’t yours in the first place. If she returns to you (and I hope she does) you then have the right to set some strict ground rules on her actions. Good Luck. Lisa

      • lisa,

        thank you for the reply… i know she has hurt me to every extend.. but the simple fact is i still love her unconditionally.. when i said i do i meant it!!! so i need to let her go and let her try to live with a douche bag who cheated on her?? well she is already doing it.. what are their chances of actually working it out… i know she is just confused and not really thinking this through as in who would stick by her through thick and thin… and he already proved what he was… i did everything i could.. she blamed me for everything…and was a complete b about it.. i know in my heart i did almost everything i could but she didnt try… i now know she had a quilty conscience.. and that is why she blamed me for her unhappiness and anxiety… do you think she will come back to me?? and if so what do i do….. she tried to destroy me and make me out to be the bad guy that i am not… … and i know she is already lying to him about things…. to make herself look good…how could she go back to that?? please more input!!!

        thx
        david

    • david this situation is so messed up, i dont care how quilty she feels that does not justify her lying and getting a restraining order against you and all of this crazyness. If she wanted to work things out with her x she should have told you thats what she was going to do and do it without hurting you with all this unecessary junk. do i think you should take her back? (having been cheating on myself by my husband of 6 years with whom i have 2 children and completely understand how hard it is to walk away from someone you love) no, i dont think you should. and if you want to know if she will come back to you, i am 100% sure she will come back to you. because after she gets her second dose of pain and being screw over the only thing she will be thinking of is the incredably sweet loving man she had before going back to her x. but here’s the thing. one thing i want you to know and trust me on is that it is possible to forget her and love someone else. the thing is that we get so caught up in the lives weve made with this person and the dreams weve had for our future with them, and the initial pain is so intense and devistating we think we are going to feel this way forever. this feeling doesnt last forever. and you sound like such an amazing man, there are so many woman that could love you and cherish you, honor and respect you. you dont need to sit around wondering if the one woman who didnt care about how wonderful you are will ever come back.

  22. Lots of Good information in your posting, I bookmarked your blog so I can visit again in the future, Cheers

  23. David,
    I also love my husband toooo much!! He has repeatly hurt me and lied to me. It’s been 18 months of listening to him tell me he is done with the other woman only for me to find him again with her. After 25 years of marriage I am trying to forgive and forget but how many times can I? I know the answer is to leave but I am finding it very difficult because I do love him and change at this part of my life is hard. Please search your heart, and know that the heart can take more than our minds should allow. Gain your self respect back! Do you really want to continue being treated this way? I know I don’t and I need to take my own advice. Good Luck!

  24. im pregnant with my second daughter married for the first time to a man i thought loved me so. it was confirmed he was cheating on feb 2 3 months after we were married and two months after i found out i was pregnant …i cant stop crying inside and out. hes been unusually nice and now hes just cruel i dont know what to do ….. i love him so much but the pain is so raw its been 3 months sice everything took place and now im 7months pregnant and im resentful it hurts me to even say that

  25. My husband cheated on my whilst I was eight months pregnant. This affair lasted for about four months and only ended when I found records on his phone. Our baby was three months old then and it was a really difficult time for me. He explained that there was kissing and mostly talking, but no sex. However the girl involved claims that they had sex on two occasions. She tried to make him out as a really bad guy and spread all sorts of stories about him. Who do I believe, the man I thought loved me more than life itself, or the women who I know is now trying to get back at him? Their relationship started as a friendship and evolved into a gf/bf situation. She knew he was married since the day they met and this did not stop them. I am really struggling to figure out who to believe and wondering every single day if they had sex or not?
    How do I trust him again? How do I stop myself from wondering? How do I move on? I love him so much but do find myself hating him at times and just wanting to hurt him for what he did to us.

    • believe the other woman about the sexual encounters. she has nothing to gain by telling you what really happened, he has something to gain by saying it didn’t happen. my husband cheated on me about 10 weeks ago and said he was just friends with this girl, that it was only talking. i fully believed him because i love him, we have many years together and 2 small children. love is blind, the heart believes what it wants to because it is desperate. he later confessed that he slept with her several times, i was shocked. i shouldnt have been though, everyone knew that was going on except for me because outsiders arnt emotionally invested the way you are and can see things for what they are with a clear perspective.

  26. I posted on here about a year ago, talking about my husband had changes and that he was remorseful. Only because it suited him, he Cheated again, this time there is no forgiveness, he left his 2 kids and home to play family to his girlfriend and her daughter. There has never been so much pain as finding out that it has happened mulitple times, If you are lucky enough to find a person to be with that is truthful, try to keep that person and trust that person. Cause when you find someone that is shady you dont trust any person again.

  27. i have been married for 13years and my husband has been having an affair for the last 6years with the same person and always promising is over after i find out,eventually he impregnanted the lady and got a daughter with her,he became so remorseful and still promising that he will only support his daughter but will never be involved with the lady again,am so depressed and torn in between forgiving him and taking him back or divorcing him and having to raise to our children single,i guess my mind is not in a position to make a rational decsion now butwould appreciate some advice

  28. HI All!

    I found out my husband cheated on me! I found emails dating back to 2007! He met this woman at a gas station, he flirted and so did the lady. They had email conversations for several years.(Which where graphic to say the least) He swears to me that he only slept with her twice. Which I still find hard to believe.
    He also got on dating sites and was talking to women on there. My heart is crushed. I would of never found out if he had deleted the trash in his emails. My heart is broken.. I don’t know what to do. I came back home after staying gone for a couple weeks. I want our marriage to work but I just don’t know if I will every trust him again. I have lost all respect for him. He tells me I need to stop dwelling on something that happen three years ago… That easy said than done… In advice!!!!!

    • It is a very simple remedy for the cheater to tell the person they cheated on to let it go. And while his cheating may have happened 3 years ago, there is no way for you to know and trust that it happened only that time. my ex husband told me the same thing, only difference is I am not the type of person that gets into confontations, I never once brought it up after I found out about it, And I let it go, did I forgive, maybe in a way for the sake of our children, Did I forget, no it was always there.
      If you are a person that can move forward with what has happened, then maybe you should, If you are a person that everything you see, smell, hear will bring your mind back to what he did, You should consider moving on from the relationship.
      You will need to do what is best for your own well being, Not what he thinks is best, and not what other people say is best for you, Sit down by yourself and seriously think, even right down the good and the bad of staying in that relationship. Only you and your own heart can tell you if you should stay in with him. If there is no possibility for forgiveness, then what will your relationship become. If you bring it up everytime you turn around, you will push him away, (that is if you decide to stay)
      I know from experience that if you can not move past it, and you dwell on it, you will become physically and mentally sick. Listen to your heart and your head, and reevaluate the situation….
      GOOD LUCK To you……

      • Hi everyone,

        I sat down at my computer today and entered in the search engine “how to forgive a cheating husband” and came across this site. I feel a sense of support by reading all the posts and seeing that I am not alone in this new territory. I am 40 yrs old and I have been with my husband for 17 yrs. At least 8 of those years he has become emotionally abusive I have been in and out of therapy wondering how I had changed to be the person he resented most. I asked him to separate several times but he would never leave and he would swear to me that I was his life and he would be more patient and a better husband and father. We would go through a beautiful “honeymoon” period but then the pain would begin again. I found out last week that he had been having several cyber affairs on Facebook for years along with random sex and sleeping with someone I had once called a friend. We are in therapy and have concluded he has a sex addiction – well its not a real diagnosis, but it is under OCD.

        We were separated, but I asked him to move back home after a week away because he seemed “broken” he was at rock bottom and my heart hurt for him plus the kids (they are 3 & 4). We just spent several days talking, supporting each other and loving each other. I felt my husband was back. I was so excited and desperate that I missed him so much, we were close as we were 17 yrs ago. The sex was back and we were perfect.

        The problem I’m having is as long as the world is shut out I’m okay, but I’ve been having panic attacks when I leave the house thinking about him getting online as soon as I walk out the door, or I have images of him and the person I knew swirling in my head. He and this person met at a coffee shop and consciously decided to sleep together. Each time I pass a Starbucks I panic! I see them sitting at a table in her shorts and high heels and him embracing her and giving her looks of attraction that should have been for me. Is all of this normal? I am crazed right now. Whenever he seems happy and unburdened I want to remind him of the pain and suffering he’s caused. The affairs happened in 2009 supposedly, but they are new to me. I feel like my entire relationship and marriage were a lie. I love him and I want to be with “my” husband, not the demon who took him over because of his addiction. Can I forgive him because it is an addiction? Please help.

  29. I found out my boyfriend of a year and a half was cheating on me by WALKING IN ON HIM IN HIS SHOWER with the girl,. To add to the misery and devastation-it was the same day we heard our baby’s heartbeat at the Dr. I have gained little insight as to the “why”..i keep replaying the images over and over and the lies he set up” oh, im going to bed early”..and i walked in his apt unannounced and saw that disgusting scene. i am now almost 11 weeks pregnant..undecided on what to do, cant get over this and dont think i can ever forgive. what kind of person does that?!! i need help

    • Hi everyone, yes I am in the same boat as everyone else, my husband of 6 years cheated on me for 3 months until I busted them and threatened to tell her husband, Sometimes I wish I had. He claims that they started out as friends at work and it went to far duh!!! He says they were together 2 times and 1 kiss, this is what I got for Christmas, then a week before our anniversary in June, and my birthday is also in June. The pain is soo deep to top it all off, I prayed for answers and peace and God whispered “His work cell phone” I called him one day while I wa sat work and he was off, he dropped my call then pocket diealed me back. I stayed on the line and then I heard him say I just wanted to hear your voice, I was devastated – this was a week before our anniversary (we were supposed to renew our vows for a fresh start) but after I heard him tell her he just needed to hear her voice and then he said she rocks his world – the vows didn’t get renewed. He swares that was the first time he spoke to her since January when I busted them, but I am having trouble with everything now – Now it is July and I am so confused and hurt I am desperate for the truth and some peace so I can move on with or without him – but without my heart because there isn’t enough glue to fix it I feel I have nothing left only numbness

      Kim

      • Hi Kim,

        In my case, I told the other woman’s husband about it. He deserves to know the truth about his wife.

        If you have children, I know its more difficult to make your decision.

        Do you love him? Do you think he is worth it? Can you give him another chance? Can you forgive him and move on?

        Do think carefully. Seek guidance from trusted friends / family members.

        Take care Kim.

  30. I found out 3 years ago my husband was cheating on me. He promised to break up and stop seeing the other woman and I believe he does not see her anymore.

    My problem is I have not forgiven my husband or forgotten what he has done. It has been 3 years now and I still am hurting. Sometimes I can move on but some days I am so troubled by the lies.

    Has anyone been in my shoes? What is your advice?

    • Hi Sunshine. I’ve been in your shoes too. It has been 2 years. And I still unable to forget what he did. I soldiered on just for my son’s sake. And yes, I’m still hurting.

      • Hi Sunshine and Elite,
        I too cannot forget what he did, it has been 2 years since I found out my husband was cheating on me and I will be ok for a while and then all of a sudden I keep thinking about what he did and If forgiving him was the right thing to do. I am still in pain about what he did.

  31. I found out six days ago at work because of a text he sent to me accidentally – my husband of 19 years (but we were together 28 years) was cheating. I checked cell phone records back a couple of months and determined that he was cheating with his boss! His boss is married with two small sons; I have two beautiful daughters 15 and 18. He denied it first and then in minutes when I checked phone records, he straight up admitted it. The sad thing is that I was suspectful months ago. And to be honest for the past year, I have felt that something was wrong between us and I would tell him how concerned I was that about our relationship. I also told him about six weeks ago of my suspicions and I said if you are going to do something tell me first so that you can just leave. He didn’t take the out I gave him and didn’t acknowledge my feelings of how he makes me feel like I’m nothing. I threw him out of the house that day and he only called me iniitally twice to say I’m sorry (never to say I love you) and said he had no options on where to stay. LIke I give a s—! How can I begin to work through this when he actually sees her because he works with her. I called her and she didn’t answer and I left three voicemessages about what I thought of her and how I’d tell her husband and her employer (she is his superior). Yes, I am being vindictive and I want to hurt her in any way I can. Supposedly she told her husband since I threatened to do it and now he wants to kill my husband. I gave her until this Friday to quit her job which I think was actually nice of me since I’m giving her a chance to quit without anyone knowing what she did. She will be fired immediately since she is a manager and he was her subordinate. Maybe he’d lose his job but I think they would have to be careful legally in that situation. It is mean and vindictive but I can’t help myself. One moment I can’t imagine my life without him and the next I hate his f—– guts. He said that he has changed since his mother’s death 21 months ago. I said I was here for you and I thought he was depressed and told him to see a therapist but he didn’t – he cheated instead. He said it was just a fling and “something different” (@%$@ use your imagination of what I said here). He has said that it has happened for the last couple of months; he doesn’t know for sure. What a f—–! I love him; but I hate him; I want him to hold me and kiss me; I don’t want him to ever touch me again. Besides saying he is sorry and didn’t want to hurt me and our daughters, he shows no remorse or emotion. He said I am baggering him and that he is a human being and can only take so much. What the f—? What about me? If I was in his shoes, I would have asked to be transferred to another Rite Aid, set up an appt. with a therapist immediately and kissed my a– or at least acted like I wanted to come back because he loved me not because he has no where to go. I will NEVER ever forget what he did but I don’t know if I can forgive him to try to work it out. If he touched me I think I’d puke. Our sex life wasn’t that great over the years but I gave him the benefit of the doubt that it was because of his age (52); mean while he was f—– someone else. Of course like others in the posts above I feel that it is my fault because I have put on weight or maybe it is because of the drama that sometimes happens with teenage girls or other family dramas. Again, it didn’t drive me to do what he did. I feel dead inside and I hate myself. It is really bad. I know it is so new that it will take time, but he actually thinks I should know what I want already — that at least I should let him stay in the basement. Like I freakin care. He is staying at his sister’s house while she is on vacation right now, but in 3 days will have no where to go. Why didn’t he think of this before he had an affair? He said he didn’t plan it, but it happened. So I told him that I guessed he and I would have to get checked for an STD and he said he used protection every freaking time – ok this tells me it was another freakin lie because he was prepared for it. What a piece of s—! I don’t know what to do!!! Financially, we can’t afford for him to be in a hotel because I need his paycheck for bills. I think I may physically attack him if I get enraged enough (I’m not normally like that but I see red when I think of this). I told him that maybe he needs to think what he really wants becuase I don’t think he wants me to take him back because he loves me; I think it is because he needs a place to stay and that he feels things should go back to the way it was. I am embarrassed at what he did and I am embarrassed personally. Of course my dughters know, my family and two of my bosses too because I found at work and had a panick attack and freaked out when I found out. Please, please help me. I need advice now. To all of you who have been cheated on, I feel for you and I’m sorry that it has happened. Thanks.

    Michelle

    • my husband too just very recently cheated on me with a coworker, we never had any problems. we have been happily married 6 years (even he admits we were happy and has no idea why he did what he did) and have 2 beautiful children. i saw the phone bill before he actually cheated, and saw him talking to this girl for hours and endless texts. before anything happened i sent this girl a text with pictures of my kids begging her to stop talking to my husband. she didnt care, kept after him. watching their relationship through the phone bill everyday was making me sick so i told him to stop talking to her or leave. he left and the next day had sex with her, had sex about 5 times within a months time. he came back asking me to forgive him, i did and 2 days later found him calling her again. he wanted me to forgive him again but i told him he would have to quit his job and change his phone number, he wasn’t willing to do that (while professing his undying love for me…ha). a couple weeks later he got layed off and then completely cut her off, what kind of sacrafice is that? anyways its been about 10 weeks since all this happened and the first couple weeks i just wanted to die and probly would have attempted if i didnt have 2 kids that need me. but you get through the pain, it doesn’t last forever. he is still trying to come back but i dont want him anymore. i miss what we were but we will never be that beautiful family again, he has tainted it. I dont look at him the same, i dont respect him anymore, i have no desire to be intimate with him. and if he could do this while we were happy who knows what he would do in the future if we had any hardships. this man was (rightly as he should be) your whole life. but he checked out. and it sounds like he doesn’t love you and isn’t truely sincere about trying to make it work. i don’t care how old you are there is always a possiblity of someone else coming into your life and giving you the love you deserve. and even if that doesnt happen for many years it is possible to be happy without a man. there is so much out there to do and experience, i just hope you have a good circle of real friends that will help you through this. my advice is not to never give him a chance. but give yourself a chance first. most times us women get so wrapped up in making our husbands happy and living for them that we forget who we are. get distance from him, try and have least amount of contact possible. and spend time with friends/family, go out and do new things, things that maybe you never would have tried before. if you stay at home get a job, find a way to occupy your time. start an exercise routine and lose that extra weight, start taking care of yourself in every way. the best revenge is being happy and living a fufilling life, the other kind of revenge feels good momentarily and leaves you feeling empty in the end. and honestly if it wasnt her it just would have been some other woman. your not the issue and neither is this other woman, he did this for his own selfish reasons that hes probly not sure of himself. i know this pain is so intense it feels unbearable and the answer i know you dont want (because i didnt like hearing it myself) is that the only solution is time. but in time (even just a few weeks) you will have a new perspective on things and start feeling better. take care friend, you will be ok!!!!!!

      • Hi Anna. Thank you for sharing your story and for your thoughtful, caring advice. I feel bad that you went through this too. It is so sad that people are selfish and don’t think about what their actions will do to their spouse and children. Well it has been almost eight weeks since this tragedy happened to my life. I ended up letting my husband move into the basement. After about a week, he said he made a huge mistake and regrets it and knows he wants me. Of course, I have my doubts. He seemed so distant that first week adn maybe it’s because he was overwhelmed with getting caught – I don’t know. But we did alot of talking, Iand he said he woudl see a therapist for his issues over his mother’s death and his affair. About three weeks ago, we started to see a marriage counselor. I have been intimate with him which was so hard at first. I still have these terrible feelings and blame myself for being overweight among other things. He did end up admitting it had been going on for over a year whicih I just can’t believe. The question I can’t get past is how long would it have gone on if he didn’t slip up. He also told me that when it started things at home were hard because my daughter and I were having alot of problems – problems that she had to seek counseling for. I still don’t think that’s a reason to check out of your family. I didn’t do what he did. He also said that he actually thought he loved her but realized about 4 months ago that he didn’t but still continued the affair. He said they didn’t have sex alot – maybe once a month. That makes no difference to me since he cheated on me period. I think our therapy is helping and he seems sincere. He apologized, tells me he f—— up and loves only me. He will never do it again, wants our family back, etc. So I am making an effort but it is hard. You are right, time will tell. I have lost 20 pounds and did join a gym. I hope that I set an example for my daughters that is positive. Hopefully we can get through this with counseling and hard work and have a stronger relationship, but time will tell. I am working on myself too as you suggested since I do have alot of insecurities. Oh, one more thing, his last day at Rite Aid is this Saturday and he starts a new job on Monday. This should really help me in dealing with the affair. Thank you for listening and your advice. Your friend, Michelle

  32. i need some advice.. i was with my bf for 2 yrs. recently he went on a 1 month holiday. we were fine for the first 2 weeks, skyping everyday, all lovey dovey. but the 2nd place he went to didn’t have internet, so we didn’t keep in touch much for the last 2 weeks. on the last night of his holiday, before he came back to sleep in my bed that night, he cheated on me with a friend of a friend. i didn’t know (obviously), but after he came back we became v irritated with each other all the time. it was clear he didn’t want to spend time with me, he was out with friends every night, and when he came home he would be chatting away online, totally ignoring me.
    so we naturally started to argue,and i broke up with him 2 weeks later. at this point i still had NO clue that i had been cheated on. i dumped him because we had other issues (he didn’t please me in bed for 2 yrs, but more importantly i dont’ want children and he does, and he says having a family is his dream and he would have to leave me if i didn’t want children when the time came)

    he cried, he begged, and a week later i said ok, i’ll give it a try and if in 5 yrs time he wants a family and i still don’t, i won’t take those 5 yrs as wasted because i love him and i would have enjoyed my time with him. but the next day, i found his facebook open on my computer. and because he’d been chatting away on it before (when we were arguing after his hol), i was curious to see who it was. so i read his msgs, and it was this friend of a friend he had been on holiday with (it was a big group). the conversation was v flirty, with ‘xxx’ and stuff, but i thought, ok, i’ve asked him a few times if he’s cheated and he promised me no, he was just being flirty and ‘charming’ and that was that. so i gave him the benefit of the doubt. BUT, a few days later i was compelled to check his facebook again to see if he was still in touch with her. he hadn’t, but this time i saw msgs between him and another friend/something like his confidante. these were msgs from when he just came back from holiday, when we were still together. in the msgs i found out that he had slept with that girl, that it was nice when he woke up with her the next day, but it didn’t mean anything and he ddn’t like her in that way, though she was a nice, cool girl. and that he did some thinking over his holiday and realized there were so many issues betw us, and he was turnign 30 soon so since he couldn’t see a future with me anymore with all thse problems, he wanted to break up with me, but didn’t want to hurt me. he said a bunch of other hurtful things, like how the only good thing about me was that i was cute and i was skinny. after 2 yrs, that’s all he saw in me.

    so anyways, i confronted him and he lied through his teeth till i recited what i had read. he made me sound like a crazy paranoid person – “you are convinced i cheated when i told you i didn’t” etc. but once he was busted, he cried and begged and said he was sorry and did it because he thought of all the bad things about our relationship over the holiday, and figured he would break up with me when he got back so in his mind he was pretty much a single man already. he admits there is no excuse for what he has done though, he dealt with the situation in a cowardly way and he is truly sorry and wants me back because after i broke up with him the 1st time (when i didn’t know about the cheating yet), he realized how much he loves me.

    so i dont know. i know what the logical thing to do is – to break up with him. but at the same time i know our relationship had problems, and a part of me wants to try and fix it, and see if it can be different this time. because i know for the last 6 months+ i had suggested to him on countless occasions that we break up (because i was not happy in bed), and that probably drove him to his conclusion over the holiday, when he had some time to think about the situation. so a part of me is thinking ok, if i am less volatile, maybe we can go back to what we used to be? he is the 1st guy i’ve ever loved/seen a future with and therefore am finding it hard to properly let go – i don’t like people easily, have dated a TONNE of guys and never liked any of them. but i do’nt know if we can ever be the same again… i am so angry and so sad at the same time. and even though he says he will never do it again, he does have a history of cheating………(with other gfs). he says he has never been sorry about cheating before (well because he was never caught!!!), but this time its different, and he hates himself, and he is sad, and blah blah, and he wants to change, and be a good bf, and etcetc

    so please tell me what you guys think….. obviously there is so much more about the story i can write, but i think the salient points are here… i would relaly appreciate some advice/opinion from you guys, thanks!

  33. I found out about my husband’s affair on Easter Sunday, 2009. It had been going on for almost 2 years and I didn’t have a clue. He was so good at lying to me, it’s almost scary. With 2 small children (ages 9 and 4) and a load of debt, I knew I couldn’t survive on my own. I loved him, but knew I could never forgive the hurt he has caused me. We went to individual and marriage counseling. He cut off all ties (at least I can’t find any proof that he didn’t cut all ties) with the woman but that is of little comfort. Here it is 2 1/2 years later and I’m still angry, hurt, ashamed and a variety of other emotions. I know I’ll never trust him again and I know I’ll never be able to forgive him. The same weekend I found out about the affair, we found out he was losing his job. After a year at a lower paying job and incurring even more debt, he finally found a better paying job which meant we had to move from our home of 10 years, the only home my kids have ever known. I feel trapped. I don’t plan on my children ever finding out about his affair, but I still feel like I am letting them down every single day because I wasn’t strong enough to leave him. Since then, my health has gone downhill and I need the health insurance his job provides. He tells me daily that he loves me. He has begged for my forgiveness. He has promised me that nothing like that will ever happen again. He made me believe that we could work things out and I did believe that for a while, but now I know it will never be the same. I have no choice but to stay in this marriage because I honestly cannot make it financially if I don’t and my children would suffer. I will sacrifice anything and everything for my children. If it weren’t for my kids needing me, I would have ended my own life 2 1/2 years ago because the pain was too much to take. It still is. He broke his vows to me, he destroyed my trust in him and he has taken everything I believed and crushed it to little pieces. I can still remember the emails I read between the two of them, the text messages, the page after page after page of telephone calls on the phone bill, the weekend trip to Florida he took which he told me was a job search but was really to see her. It’s all still as fresh and hurtful as the first day I found out. Will this pain ever end?

  34. Lauren,
    I am so sorry you have had to go through this pain. I would wish this pain on my worst enemy. I have found a lot of support from this website. I hope it helps you as well.

    http://www.beyondaffairs.com/teleseminars.htm

  35. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for three. We have two children. I recently found out he tried to cheat on me with my best friend. She kicked him out immediately and finally found the courage to tell me a little over a week later. He cheated on me two times before we were married after our second child was born. No sex but kissing and oral sex. We have been through so much the last 12 years and I have forgiven him many many times for different things including the cheating. I did not find out about the cheating until 5 years after it happened. I know he loves me and he is sincerely sorry but I just dont know if I have any forgiveness left. We have separated many times but always come back to each other. He is a good man and an amazing father. If I decide to leave I know it would break my childrens hearts and I just dont know if its what I want for myself either. I love him so very much and I know how much he is hating himself right now. I just dont know what to do at this point. Do I try to forgive him again or is it time to let go? Please help! I need some answers!

  36. My wife hasnt forgiving me for cheating and its been 2yrs

  37. HELP…so my fiancee of three years cheated on me two years ago with his first sons mother. He would leave every couple of months for days to a week at a time and would go to her house. He would come back and say if was screwed up in the head saying he could not be without his son. I forgave him each time including after he said it was over and we got pregnant with our son. I have always had a hunch he slept with her even though he swore he did not. We have been on a roller coaster since i knew in my heart he had cheated. All along begging for the truth and instead he denied it and fought with me about never letting it go. Two weeks ago he found out the last time he disappeared to his exs that i hung out with a guy. He flipped out and t got ugly. I said where do you think you have the right to be mad you are the one destroying our relationship. I got to a breaking point saying i could not take his lying and sneakyness anymore.He vowed to tell me the truth about anything asked. He told me the last time he left he slept with her once and he left the next day and came back home. He said he knew the minute he did it that he was not where he wanted to be. My biggest problem is lying to me for three years and making me feel like i was crazy. Everyone says the only way to forgive is to lay your cards on the table and get the details on why. How do you do that when fiancee says he has no reason and that he does not know why he did because he really loved me but was screwed up in his head about her and his son? I love him and our son but i don’t know how to forgive him. I am a good person and have never been mean a day in my life but i am so angry that i don’t recognize myself. He is remorseful and i believe he won’t do it again but three years to tell me the truth and his excuse is i have not done anything in 2 1/2 years like it makes it better. I want to punch him in his freaking face. I am struggling i am devastated thinking about leaving him however i feel the same way when i think about staying. Advice please…

  38. My husband has being cheating on me,and i find it very difficult to forgive him.what can i do?

    • Oh!! This is one of the most difficult issues ever. I also founf out that my husband of over 20 years has been cheating on me for 3 years. He had numerous women- to be axact- 10 different women- how do you even start to forgive after that? He always seemed to be an honourable and decent human being… friends always commentednt on how we have decent children, I for one did not even think in a miilion years that he would would do such a thing to me. When I eventually found out, my only solution was to kick him out- I have always said to friends that I would not tolerate a cheater. So when I brought the divorce papers for him to sign, the man said he’d rather committ suicide? To cut a long stiry short, he still lives with me, but I do not trust him, I do not love him, I am just waiting for the right time to live, since he seems to be unable to leave the marital home.

      My advice, do what you feel is good for you. This is one of the most difficult issues ever… because once you loose trust in someone, you never can trust them again. Even is they say they are going to grocery store to get milk… Life can always be greener on the other side..
      God bless, but be wiser

  39. Omg i learnt a lot ,felt the pain of many wounded hearts.il include u all in my prayers for peace.once u feel cheated pls dont try to patch up with that meaningless relationship.there are lots of beautiful things on this earth to learn ,enjoy, live, experience, share and to lead happy peaceful life.friends just forgive ur loved ones ,pls dont take any adverse harmful decisions .

  40. Dear friends, my name is stella from united states, i have to give this miraculous testimony,which is so unbelievable until now. i had a problem with my husband 3 months ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, i was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me,my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine sara told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too.i email Priest Ishvara the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. we have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. thanks to Priest Ishvara for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work,If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is: ishvaratemple@yahoo.com

  41. I met this spell through a friends description and he told me that he help him to get his wife back when another man took her from him and then i decided to try him out and i discover that he is the best and he is very powerful and just yesterday my husband whom i thought will never come back to me came and said to me that he was sorry for leaving me. i now so happy that my desire have been fulfilled. thank to the Dr.Wala of the wildernessofspirit@gmail.com he is so powerful.

  42. resy
    my name is wentney resy based in canada, i had a problem with my wife sometimes ago but never knew what the problem was,i tried to asked her but she refused to tell me what it was as time goes on i discovered she was having an affair with a friend of mine that happens to be my close friend back in college days,i was so sad that i never knew what to do next,during my search for a way out i met a friend of mine who had similar problem and introduced me to a man who helped him with his situation,on contacting this man through his email, i discoversd he was a spell caster i was shocked because i have not had anything to do with a spell caster in my entire life so i tried to give this man a chance cos i never believed in spell casting as i thought it will not work for me but to my surprise i got positive results and i was able to get my wife back from him even after the spell caster did all i discovered my wife fell much more in love with me on like before so i was so happy that i never know what to do for him so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone on this blog havin similar problem visit temple of love spell and your problems shall be solved, his email is templeofloved@gmail.com

  43. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

  44. Three weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. it all started when i travelled to london to spend my holiday with my friend,i was trying to contact him but it was not going through. So when i came back from london i saw him with a lady kissing, i was frustrated and it gives me sleepless night. I called my friend and told her what happened and she introduce me to a spell cater who helped her long time ago. Which i contact him and i never believed that the spell will work so easily i am so happy to tell you all that my boyfriend is back and committed to me alone and he do whatever i ask him to do with love and care. All thanks to The Great Esango Priest the great magician who helped me to restore my boyfriend to me:too anyone in need of help with spell I will advise you to contact him on this email prophetaliu@live.com thank you.

  45. I was married for 8years with out any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about Prophet Osaze from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Prophet Osaze for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address:spirituallove@hotmail. com

  46. i base in USA. i had problem with my ex boy friend some months ago. And he was cheating on me which hurt me badly,and he was also avoiding me,He no longer pick my calls.I was totally confused cos i don’t know what to do.There was a day i was surfing the internet i came in contact with this spell caster who have helped so many people in their relationship.So i contacted him and explain everything to him.And he told me to do some things,I did the correctly.To cut it short.My ex boy friend gave me a call and said to me that we should have a date,i agreed.On the date,He was begging me to have him back and i agreed we are now together as one again,Planing our wedding.thank you Prophet Osaze. meet him via his email; spirituallove@hotmail. com

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